Love makin

[Whaler]

I'm bored and on a roll today.


Love making comparisons...

The Italian says, 'When I've a finished a makina da love withah my
wife, I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees, she floats
6 inches above a da bed in ecstacy.'

The Frenchman replies. zat is noting, when Ah've finished making ze
love with ze wife, Ah kiss all ze way down her body, and zen Ah lick
za soles of her feet wiz mah tongue, and she floats 12 inches above
ze bed in pure ecstacy.

The redneck says, That ainʼt nothing. When I've finished porkin the
ole lady, I git out of bed, walk over to the winder and wipe my
weener on the curtains. She hits the freakin'ceiling.

[noyz1]

I'm bored and on a roll today.


Love making comparisons...

The Italian says, 'When I've a finished a makina da love withah my
wife, I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees, she floats
6 inches above a da bed in ecstacy.'

The Frenchman replies. zat is noting, when Ah've finished making ze
love with ze wife, Ah kiss all ze way down her body, and zen Ah lick
za soles of her feet wiz mah tongue, and she floats 12 inches above
ze bed in pure ecstacy.

The redneck says, That ainʼt nothing. When I've finished porkin the
ole lady, I git out of bed, walk over to the winder and wipe my
weener on the curtains. She hits the freakin'ceiling.

sounds like one of my employee's:hysterical:

[Mike]

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-M art.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in
and get out. Equally, unfortunately, my wife is like most women ---she loves to
browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Hill,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in
our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of
you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.Hill are listed below and are
documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people' s carts
when they weren't looking.


2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at
5-minute intervals.


3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
the women's restroom.


4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, 'Code 3
in House wares. Get on it right away'


5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
M&M's on layaway.


6. August 14: Moved the 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.


7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
other shoppers
he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from
the bedding
department.


8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and
screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'


9. September 4th: Looked right into the security camera and used
it as a mirror
while he picked his nose.


10. September 10: While handli ng guns in the hunting department,
he asked the
clerk where the antidepressants were.


11. October 3 : Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming the 'Mission
Impossible' theme.


12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna
Look' by using
different sizes of funnels


13. October 18:He hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
by, he yelled
'PICK ME! PICK ME!'


14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed a
fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'


and last, but not least


15. October 23:Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then
yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here

[wade w]

NOW THATS FUNNY!!!!!!!:hysterical: