Mike
01-20-2010, 03:28 PM
>The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.
>
>
> >> ' Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is
>
> >> Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare , Ireland .
>
> >> I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on
>
> >> you! We voted to reject the Lisbon treaty!'
>
>
> >> 'Well, Paddy,' Sarkozy replied, 'This is indeed important news! How
>
> >> big is your army?'
>
> >> 'Right now,' says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, 'there is
>
> >> myself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the
>
> >> entire darts team from the pub. That makes eleven!'
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >> Sarkozy paused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in
>
> >> my army waiting to move on my command.'
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >> 'Begoora!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to ring you back.'
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >> Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war
>
> >> is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!'
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >> 'And what equipment would that be Paddy?' Sarkozy asks.
>
> >>
>
> >> 'Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor..'
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >> Sarkozy sighs amused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000
>
> >> tanks and 5,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I have increased
>
> >> my army to 150,000 since we last spoke.'
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >> 'Saints preserve us!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to get back to you.'
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >> Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war
>
> >> is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have
>
> >> modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns
>
> >> in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us
>
> >> as well!'
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >> Sarkozy was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I
>
> >> must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter
>
> >> planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided,
>
> >> surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have
>
> >> increased my army to 200,000!'
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >> 'Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!' says Paddy, 'I will have to ring you back.'
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >> Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. 'Top o' the mornin',
>
> >> Mr. Sarkozy! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off
>
> >> the war.'
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >> 'Really? I am sorry to hear that,' says Sarkozy. 'Why the sudden
>
> >> change of heart?'
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >> 'Well,' says Paddy, 'we had a long chat over a few pints of
>
> >> Guinness and packets of crisps, and we decided there is no fookin'
>
> >> way we can feed 200,000 prisoners.'
>
>
>
> >> ' Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is
>
> >> Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare , Ireland .
>
> >> I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on
>
> >> you! We voted to reject the Lisbon treaty!'
>
>
> >> 'Well, Paddy,' Sarkozy replied, 'This is indeed important news! How
>
> >> big is your army?'
>
> >> 'Right now,' says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, 'there is
>
> >> myself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the
>
> >> entire darts team from the pub. That makes eleven!'
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >> Sarkozy paused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in
>
> >> my army waiting to move on my command.'
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >> 'Begoora!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to ring you back.'
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >> Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war
>
> >> is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!'
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >> 'And what equipment would that be Paddy?' Sarkozy asks.
>
> >>
>
> >> 'Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor..'
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >> Sarkozy sighs amused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000
>
> >> tanks and 5,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I have increased
>
> >> my army to 150,000 since we last spoke.'
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >> 'Saints preserve us!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to get back to you.'
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >> Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war
>
> >> is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have
>
> >> modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns
>
> >> in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us
>
> >> as well!'
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >> Sarkozy was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I
>
> >> must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter
>
> >> planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided,
>
> >> surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have
>
> >> increased my army to 200,000!'
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >> 'Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!' says Paddy, 'I will have to ring you back.'
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >> Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. 'Top o' the mornin',
>
> >> Mr. Sarkozy! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off
>
> >> the war.'
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >> 'Really? I am sorry to hear that,' says Sarkozy. 'Why the sudden
>
> >> change of heart?'
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
> >> 'Well,' says Paddy, 'we had a long chat over a few pints of
>
> >> Guinness and packets of crisps, and we decided there is no fookin'
>
> >> way we can feed 200,000 prisoners.'
>