The Mind of a College Student

Whaler · 02-22-2008, 02:34 PM

03 Turtle, this ain't John Deere or Cow Tipping 101, but I was thinking of you when I read this.

HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night , then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night , Teresa kept shouting " Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+

Lurch · 02-22-2008, 02:53 PM

I like that sounds very true!!

1BAD4DR · 02-22-2008, 02:54 PM

That is a great answer and actually very appropriately answers that question

Another good one is, I actually took my first physiology test today at about 9 this morning and the test was very easy, questions are worth 5 points each, 35 questions, i was finished with all the questions in about 10-15 minutes but one, the last questions was "what does PAR stand for"? The real answer is Photosynthetic Absorbance Radiation....not knowing this i sat and thought for about another 10-15 minutes and could not remember it for the life of me, so me being the very witty person i am, answered the question accordingly

PAR is when a golfer shoots the even score on a round of golf

The teacher is an very well known golfer around this area and took into consinderation that it was a very minute detail that he did not cover very well in class....

He gave me 3 out of 5 points and i made a 97 on the exam

Gotta love being a smartass

I learn it from my other dad Richard Head

Whaler · 02-22-2008, 03:16 PM

Now wait a minute. 2 weeks ago you were sucking up to Dayrl with "the silver truck don't break" routine, and now it's "big daddy", Richard Head. You startin to sound like a ho.

chrisheltra · 02-22-2008, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Whaler

Now wait a minute. 2 weeks ago you were sucking up to Dayrl with "the silver truck don't break" routine, and now it's "big daddy", Richard Head. You startin to sound like a ho.

Haha I think we found the pivot man.

EZ03 · 02-23-2008, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 03 Turtle

Gotta love being a smartass

I learn it from my other dad

Richard Head

BILL BROWN

yeah thats it daddy head

1BAD4DR · 02-24-2008, 12:21 PM

I have to keep them both on my good side, they support my gas money fund and they dont even know it

02-22-2008, 02:34 PM	#1
Whaler Moderator Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: West Ashley Posts: 2,498	The Mind of a College Student 03 Turtle, this ain't John Deere or Cow Tipping 101, but I was thinking of you when I read this. HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well : Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night , then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night , Teresa kept shouting " Oh my God." THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+

02-22-2008, 02:53 PM	#2
Lurch Moderator Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Goose Creek SC Posts: 554	Great I like that sounds very true!!

02-22-2008, 02:54 PM	#3
1BAD4DR Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Goose Creek, SC Posts: 1,364	That is a great answer and actually very appropriately answers that question Another good one is, I actually took my first physiology test today at about 9 this morning and the test was very easy, questions are worth 5 points each, 35 questions, i was finished with all the questions in about 10-15 minutes but one, the last questions was "what does PAR stand for"? The real answer is Photosynthetic Absorbance Radiation....not knowing this i sat and thought for about another 10-15 minutes and could not remember it for the life of me, so me being the very witty person i am, answered the question accordingly PAR is when a golfer shoots the even score on a round of golf The teacher is an very well known golfer around this area and took into consinderation that it was a very minute detail that he did not cover very well in class.... He gave me 3 out of 5 points and i made a 97 on the exam Gotta love being a smartass I learn it from my other dad Richard Head __________________ I wish dupree would hurry up...

02-24-2008, 12:21 PM	#7
1BAD4DR Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Goose Creek, SC Posts: 1,364	I have to keep them both on my good side, they support my gas money fund and they dont even know it __________________ I wish dupree would hurry up...

02-22-2008, 03:16 PM	#4
Whaler Moderator Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: West Ashley Posts: 2,498	Now wait a minute. 2 weeks ago you were sucking up to Dayrl with "the silver truck don't break" routine, and now it's "big daddy", Richard Head. You startin to sound like a ho.